复杂的心情！！！！

如果说，一个人走在路上会觉得寂寞，
那是真的；
因为你会嫉妒他人能一群群的走在一起。

但拥有了，是不是会不一样呢？
谁都不知道，
隔天会有什么事会发生，
我也一样。

说会懂得珍惜？
那是骗人的！
人往往都只会在快失去的时候才懂得珍惜。

或许是上天的考验，
最近的我，总是带着复杂的心情，
或许我真的想要逃避，
因为我并不想知道任何有关“感情”的事物。

也不肯定"它"存在的含义，
所以无法给于答复。

突然间，
我不知道我是如何看待别人，
是把他人当作朋友？
还是一个让人想要疼爱的人？

我需要时间来寻找答案，
更需要时间来看待某些事物。

一味的迁就或付出，
并不一定会带来好的结果；
也不一定会带来坏的结局，
而是要看他人如何看待。

突然间觉得很累，
很想放手。。。
让事情顺其自然。

我需要时间，
来看待一切事物。
更需要时间，
来懂得自己究竟想要什么！

3 paths to go, which should i choose?

Sometimes i would always wish to ask,
"GOD, why are you so cruel to me?"
"Why i always such bad luck during my journey?"
"Should i done it or not?"

And now here i come,
The new paths and journey to choose again..=.="
I know recently myself is damm busying with all my stuff
What can i say is; all of it becomes worst after my friend misunderstood me
Some of them even having "cool talk" and "cool war" between their selves
I never been such silent before
That is why i just hope all will back to normal like usual they act to be..

But unluckily to say, even thought we all try to back into the usual situation
There will always be others problem that come towards us..
Sometimes it might overwhelm us until we feel hard to breath!!!

And now, i think i'm going to reach this stage.
I would never aspect that such things will happens over me..
Never and ever think about IT,
Because my main point to enter the UNI is the word;"STUDY"~
Maybe i been influence by others
That is why IT finally becomes the truth!!!
Just like what they all say and tease me, Haiz~~
I can't forget all of it..
It always make me lost my concentration when i start think about it
Conclusion, it start with the word "Complicated"!!!
And most of the time,
The truth that i heard, always be cruel and hurt me..=(

I try to overcomes it slowly because i really want to "GIVE UP" over it.
I know i gonna suffer during this moment and stage..

That is why i need friendship to make me recover;
To give support and hold me when i been drop behind~~~

It does not matter either people treat you good or bad.
In my situation, if you are good to me;
Of course you will get the same result of manners from me
But if you trying to be bad to me, i will revenge it "double" or even "triple"
Until the word "FORGIVENESS" came in my mind

I'm looking for a real friendship,
and i know it is very hard.
That is why i trying to treat people nicely if possible
I always remind myself never ever think to stop "caring", but i haven't reach the stage call "Protecting" people that much
"we might hurt others while Protecting someone"
So please don't over my limits.=)

Maybe that is my fault,
To give others wrong opinion
As i'm trying to caring to others
I don't even know what should i do by now

Pain that won't ever stop come when u heard or saw somethings
That is what i suffer before
And i'm sure i know the feeling very well

Everytimes when it comes with a "PROMISE"
It's sure trap me well..
Ya, i just make a promise with someone, which is "i won't leave you alone"
So don't be afraid, me and others will be there to help and guild you as your friend.

But i never know that after the promise, there still left a new event for me..
I wish i could say "YES".. but myself is doubting
Because i don't want to hurt others
And even myself anymore.
I don't dare to try as i'm less of confident.
Plus i still can't lets go of someone yet..
What to do? I also don't know

Or even i should say,
I still need times to lets IT go..
Ya, i really need times to lets go
And to feel what i can feel by now

I have to take my time, so please don't rush me
Besides that, i can't give my words to others such as "please wait for me"....
Don't put hope on me as myself also never know what will happens next
Because i'm still blur in a stage call "Complicated"

GOD~~ Please make me sleep well today..
Cause i don't wish to have a nightmare!!!


I wish i could find someone that can make me calm down and listen to my voice heart.
There are 3 paths to choose
1st- ignore all of it
2nd- accept the feeling we get
3rd- make others disappointed with me

So which paths should i choose???

用鸳鸯奶茶来开始，结尾也用鸳鸯奶茶来结束。。。

或许在其他人眼中
“它”只是一杯普通的奶茶
但在我眼中，“它”却是意义非凡的“奶茶"

开始的那杯鸳鸯奶茶，
并不用自己用金钱来买
因为那独特的“鸳鸯奶茶”
是他人带着全心的心意泡制成的
也是意想不到的收获

那是一杯
一杯让我开始我的人生
开始我个人的故事
也开始让我学习珍惜的鸳鸯奶茶

也或许是因为我学习珍惜
所以才会在乎
更觉得“它”带来的种种“悲伤”

但到最后，
我还是决定用“它”来结束一切
结束的那杯鸳鸯奶茶
是我自己买来的
虽然是远远不及开始的那一杯
但却还是会让我得到一点点的欣慰

只因为
“它”是一个让我学习成长中的回忆
一个很“美好”的回忆。。。

或许这样
才是最好的结局
至少，在未来的日子
我不会后悔
因为我曾经拥有。。你的一段回忆。。。

I’m burning with full of angry TODAY!!!

For the 1st times, I get such angry..
It is really hurt and pain..
Why should I face the truth that I don’t wish to have.

I started to doubt and think..
“What is FRIEND for?”
-Someone that can be trust?
-Someone that might help me when I need help?-
-Someone that will care about me?
-Someone who will share along me feeling?
Or even someone who will always support me?

Maybe the feeling just start after we start the friendship ?
Maybe just because I care them that much?
Maybe it happens when I don’t realize while have fun with them?

I always tell myself;
don’t put too much care inside..
Cause I would be the one who always get hurt at last.
I always tell myself;
to be patient with people..
Cause I don’t want to start EMO and make a mistake.
I always tell myself;
treat my friends sincerely
Cause I wish I won’t hurt anyone.

But what happens?
It is hurt..
I really don’t know..
Why you all trying to force me like that?

It makes me hard to breath..
It makes me need to wear mask while facing people from now on..
And I know I still Full of Angry by now..
So, please lets me alone..
Lets me alone..
I don’t want to see myself to broke the bond..
I don’t let myself have chances to scold people
It is unfair to them..

沉思中

或许是因为最近读了一位要好朋友的布落格
突然间觉得
自己好像也失去了什么
是忘了珍惜
还是因为太过珍惜
才会得到这样的结局呢

有时候我在想
太过在乎 不见得是一件好事
太过珍惜 也很可能得到失望
太过在意 才会忽略了某些事物
太过冲动 则会则乱大谋

难以想像
再难心动的朋友 究竟还是会感动
难以想像
突然间的一个误失键盘按钮
也会给我一个难以捉摸的心态
难以想像
转眼间 我也会不知所措
因为我知道 有个小女孩
也开始悄悄的打开了自己的“门锁”

有时候
太过守护
很可能会造成伤害
太过关心
能让人觉得关心很普通
待人太好
更可能让人产生错觉

待人待己
选择默默守护
选择默默关心
选择默默微笑

我选择站在后面
一目了然的 看着一个人的背影
我选择默默关心
期待你的太阳般灿烂的微笑
我选择跟随后头
默默的跟上他人的脚步
只希望 你不要走得太快太远
因为我怕我会跟不上

Tear drop out over my sadness..

For the 1st time, my tear drop out over my sadness..
It is just a simple steps going on, I think..
It is weird when I found the tear out from my eyes.
As I already promise myself, I won’t easily tear again since last 2 years..

On the spot, I wish I can find someone to listen to my voice heart,
My sadness..
But I notice that I don’t know who should I look for..
It was just blank.. Only left is Black and White..
I know my friends is going to busy with the next subject, all will concentrate on it..
That is why I don’t know who should I ask for…

Just for a few moments, I wish I could have someone to accompany me..
Just lend the shoulder to me for a few seconds…
Ya, just a few second…

I never realize the tear would drop out when I drive home…
I try to stop myself but I can’t do that.
It is painful but simple…

I try to remind myself again..
Stop on being so emotional again,
Stop from it and learn to be stronger.
Don’t give people chances to harm you..
It would be very pain.. I guess..

A girl should learn from it, must be independent…
And the girl is Me..

Finally, I just have to know..
Over is over, it won’t make any different when time pass by…
Please look forward but not behind…

I never have this feeling before, I never drop my tear even when I fail in my primary school.
That is why I know…
I know that I’m going to re-sit the subject again..