复杂的心情！！！！

如果说，一个人走在路上会觉得寂寞，
那是真的；
因为你会嫉妒他人能一群群的走在一起。

但拥有了，是不是会不一样呢？
谁都不知道，
隔天会有什么事会发生，
我也一样。

说会懂得珍惜？
那是骗人的！
人往往都只会在快失去的时候才懂得珍惜。

或许是上天的考验，
最近的我，总是带着复杂的心情，
或许我真的想要逃避，
因为我并不想知道任何有关“感情”的事物。

也不肯定"它"存在的含义，
所以无法给于答复。

突然间，
我不知道我是如何看待别人，
是把他人当作朋友？
还是一个让人想要疼爱的人？

我需要时间来寻找答案，
更需要时间来看待某些事物。

一味的迁就或付出，
并不一定会带来好的结果；
也不一定会带来坏的结局，
而是要看他人如何看待。

突然间觉得很累，
很想放手。。。
让事情顺其自然。

我需要时间，
来看待一切事物。
更需要时间，
来懂得自己究竟想要什么！

3 paths to go, which should i choose?

Sometimes i would always wish to ask,
"GOD, why are you so cruel to me?"
"Why i always such bad luck during my journey?"
"Should i done it or not?"

And now here i come,
The new paths and journey to choose again..=.="
I know recently myself is damm busying with all my stuff
What can i say is; all of it becomes worst after my friend misunderstood me
Some of them even having "cool talk" and "cool war" between their selves
I never been such silent before
That is why i just hope all will back to normal like usual they act to be..

But unluckily to say, even thought we all try to back into the usual situation
There will always be others problem that come towards us..
Sometimes it might overwhelm us until we feel hard to breath!!!

And now, i think i'm going to reach this stage.
I would never aspect that such things will happens over me..
Never and ever think about IT,
Because my main point to enter the UNI is the word;"STUDY"~
Maybe i been influence by others
That is why IT finally becomes the truth!!!
Just like what they all say and tease me, Haiz~~
I can't forget all of it..
It always make me lost my concentration when i start think about it
Conclusion, it start with the word "Complicated"!!!
And most of the time,
The truth that i heard, always be cruel and hurt me..=(

I try to overcomes it slowly because i really want to "GIVE UP" over it.
I know i gonna suffer during this moment and stage..

That is why i need friendship to make me recover;
To give support and hold me when i been drop behind~~~

It does not matter either people treat you good or bad.
In my situation, if you are good to me;
Of course you will get the same result of manners from me
But if you trying to be bad to me, i will revenge it "double" or even "triple"
Until the word "FORGIVENESS" came in my mind

I'm looking for a real friendship,
and i know it is very hard.
That is why i trying to treat people nicely if possible
I always remind myself never ever think to stop "caring", but i haven't reach the stage call "Protecting" people that much
"we might hurt others while Protecting someone"
So please don't over my limits.=)

Maybe that is my fault,
To give others wrong opinion
As i'm trying to caring to others
I don't even know what should i do by now

Pain that won't ever stop come when u heard or saw somethings
That is what i suffer before
And i'm sure i know the feeling very well

Everytimes when it comes with a "PROMISE"
It's sure trap me well..
Ya, i just make a promise with someone, which is "i won't leave you alone"
So don't be afraid, me and others will be there to help and guild you as your friend.

But i never know that after the promise, there still left a new event for me..
I wish i could say "YES".. but myself is doubting
Because i don't want to hurt others
And even myself anymore.
I don't dare to try as i'm less of confident.
Plus i still can't lets go of someone yet..
What to do? I also don't know

Or even i should say,
I still need times to lets IT go..
Ya, i really need times to lets go
And to feel what i can feel by now

I have to take my time, so please don't rush me
Besides that, i can't give my words to others such as "please wait for me"....
Don't put hope on me as myself also never know what will happens next
Because i'm still blur in a stage call "Complicated"

GOD~~ Please make me sleep well today..
Cause i don't wish to have a nightmare!!!


I wish i could find someone that can make me calm down and listen to my voice heart.
There are 3 paths to choose
1st- ignore all of it
2nd- accept the feeling we get
3rd- make others disappointed with me

So which paths should i choose???